Men Still Need to Have Fun
Somewhere between mortgages, marriage, kids, and careers, a lot of men stopped having fun with their friends. We often let serious things crowd out the one or two core friendships we truly need.
Some of the best conversations between men happen shoulder to shoulder—on a chairlift, around a campfire, or with a fishing rod in hand. We laugh, relax, swap stories, and sometimes start talking about what really matters.
I love combining adventure with a few intentional questions, meaningful and honest stories.
In January, nine of us headed to Montana. We skied hard, laughed a lot, and made room for honest conversations about life, marriage, fatherhood, and faith.
We shared life stories in groups of three, started mornings with a question or short devotion, and let other conversations happen naturally on chairlifts and around meals.
One morning we talked about failure and how Jesus met Peter on the shore after Peter had denied Him three times (John 21).
Jesus gave a professional fisherman fishing advice, prepared breakfast, and restored a friend who had failed Him. Then He called Peter to follow Him again.
We even handed out a few ridiculous awards.
Fun builds friendship. And friendship creates room for honesty.
When Fun Opens the Door
Recently, my friend Mike organized a fly-fishing weekend with guys from our old Seattle Bible study.
Saturday evening, we swapped fish stories and gave each other grief around the dinner table. Then someone made a simple suggestion: “Let’s each make a toast to our dad…even if there’s only 10% good.”
Those toasts revealed much more than we expected. Some men remembered wonderful fathers. Others carried complicated stories, including disappointment and deep wounds.
One normally steady, reserved friend opened up about painful treatment from his father. As he spoke, tears came—tears we’d never seen before. His honesty opened the door for the rest of us.
That simple toast opened an hour of honest conversation. In one evening, we went deeper than we had in years of Friday-morning meetings.
You can’t manufacture moments like that. But you can create room for them.
Plan Your Own Adventure
You don’t need an elaborate itinerary. Grab a few friends and plan something fun—fishing, hiking, golfing, camping, or simply hanging out around a fire.
Bring a little intentionality:
• Ask, “What’s going well in your life—and what’s harder than people know?”
• Give everyone an opportunity to share their story.
• Pray for one another before heading home.
Don’t overdo it. Guys don’t need to feel like the fishing trip secretly turned into a conference. Let the adventure be the adventure—but make room for something deeper.
On our ski trip, men talked about receiving God’s love as sons, becoming better fathers, and growing more patient and selfless as husbands.
Those conversations matter more than a big powder day or a big fish. They can help us return home ready to love our families and friends more intentionally.
Underneath that honesty is a truth we all need: Our worth isn’t measured by our performance. We don’t have to prove ourselves to God. Through Christ, we are welcomed as beloved sons of God. That security frees us to be honest about our struggles and love others more faithfully.
Maybe becoming healthier men means recovering something we knew as boys: Life is better with buddies and adventure. Add honesty and intentionality, and a good weekend can become something that changes how we live back home.
Text two friends today. Pick a date. Plan something fun. Bring one good question and see where the conversation goes.
Want help building friendships that go deeper? CORE 3 Coaching delivers weekly text encouragement to help you develop consistent, Christlike friendships.
Have fun. Open up. Go home stronger.
